London as Neverland

Wouldn’t it be nice to live a carefree life? Where you have no troubles and can be whoever it is you want to be. Well there is a place, and that place is called Neverland… but if you’re Aussie and looking for a place that’s a bit easier to find, then London might just be it.

What is it that attracts hoards of Aussies to take the well-trodden path of a “two-year stint in London”? What’s the appeal? Well, I think it’s the possibility of finding Neverland. A place where you can leave your previous life behind and create a new one.

A few friends have described it as a fantasy world. They no longer have the pressures of living a routine life in Sydney where their story reads like a script.

“You want me to describe myself? Oh, well, I work [enter comfortable job] and live [enter convenient place], my friends are [enter established social group] and this is my lifestyle [enter a routine lifestyle]”

This is all great. But I think a lot of people move to London to break all that apart – to shake shit up. And I think that’s a good thing. Their life probably reads less like a script:

“You want me to describe myself? Oh, well, I work [in a job where I'm learning a whole bunch of new stuff] and live [in this new neighbourhood where I’m still getting to explore the bars and restaurants], my friends are [an eclectic, international bunch I’ve just met in the past year] and this is my lifestyle [involves lots of travel and anything new and exciting!]”

Back in Sydney, I did feel like I was falling into a routine. It felt like there were everyday burdens to carry that it just became a bit tiresome. It could be a social engagement that I’d have to attend out of loyalty, or the job that I showed up at every day because I have to save money, or the weekly trip I’d take to see my parents out of obligation.

Here in London, those responsibilities have vanished. I can re-establish new norms and only do what it is I really want to do. Sure, it may be temporary, but it does feel pretty liberating right now.

Embracing the uncertainty and seeing what comes out of it has also been quite nice. So many people gawked at me when I said I was coming over to London without a job or fixed plans, but was it really a big deal? Or was it more of a strategic break from the routine which was destined to result in good.

I’m sure it’ll be challenging to embrace the uncertainty – it already has been – but I know the value is in the growth that comes out of that challenge. A good example is my living situation over the past two months, where I’ve just been shifting around to different friend’s houses (six times to be exact), not exactly sure where I’ll end up next (or when I’ll run out of friends!). Thanks to fantastic friends and a positive outlook, everything’s worked out fine and the uncertainty is no longer so scary J

Here is a really beautiful Instagram post which captures these sentiments and kinda puts my writing to shame (I almost feel like giving up on this blog and becoming a #fangirl re-posting other people’s pics) – 

The moment I don't know what's going to happen is the moment I get unbelievably excited... and terrified. I used to be so fearful of the unknown, and a lot of us get stuck in these patterns of familiarity... we drive the same way to work, eat the same food... we live a life that is very predictable. • There's nothing wrong with predictability, but if you think about it, any situation that you basically know the outcome of, is a moment already lived. There's no variety, no curiosity and exploration. • This is why relationships get stuck, and even single people stay single... Curiosity and growth cause shifts in us. They cause us to change and expand, which is what we want... kinda. Because we also don't want to face the fear that's necessary for the experience. We don't want our lives and relationships to change, because then they become uncertain, so we live the same effing day, and have the same convos and eat the same goddamn piece of toast (avocado toast for the win though...#amiright ?!?). • Dive into your curiosity. What adventures have you delayed? How have you abandoned and/or paused your growth to keep your life safe? To avoid the terrifying reality of change? • We can't fight the transformation that nature demands... do you see that you are also part of nature? Evolve. Expand. Love. Happy day to you 😘 #createthelove

A post shared by MARK GROVES (@createthelove) on Nov 29, 2017 at 7:47pm PST

On the growth side of things, I like to reflect on my exchange stint in the States and how much I grew as a result. Before I left I was simply Karl. After I arrived back I was Karl the COOL CAT. 

Most accurate Google Image search result.

It’s like when I went over there I could start from scratch. I could challenge every pre-conception I had about myself and rebuild into how I wanted to be. I could be Karl the Cool Cat breaking social inhibitions, meeting all sorts of new people and trying new experiences. Karl the Cool Cat was always there, but he never had the environment to explore those sides of himself. 

I guess what I’ve described above comes when you’re travelling to a certain extent. You break your routine, you may be forced to meet new people and experience new things, you may critically analyse yourself and find something new… etcetera etcetera. Shaking your life up by moving to a new city (and any city, not just London) is probably that times 100.

So cheers to a new and improved Karl, maybe Karl the COOL DAWG B-) 

Most accurate Google Image search result.

Hope you enjoyed this post and can reflect on how you embrace change/uncertainty :-)

P.s. thankfully, after this weekend I'll no longer have to embrace house uncertainty as I've found a permanent place to stay - hooray for a wardrobe!