Pinballing through life

Living in a foreign land has got me thinking about who I am – where I’ve come from and where I’m going. Deep, introspective questions which I managed to rationalise into a game of pinball. Read on if I’ve piqued your interest with pinball ;-)

Establishing my identity 

Everyone has a unique set of parameters that makes them who they are, that forms their identity. The two cultural influences that have shaped me the most are being Parsi and being Australian. I’m incredibly proud of both and only recently realised just how significant the combination has been in forming who I am.

On being Parsi – yeah, it’s great. Being part of an ethno-religious group that can trace its roots back to the first ever monotheistic religion, around 2,700 years ago, is not something many people can lay claim to and I’m incredibly proud of that. Damn. Just typing “2,700 years ago” triggered something in me – like that weight of all my ancestors preserving their identity is still sitting with me today.

Being Parsi gave me a strong identity through childhood thanks to my parents. There are certain social traits, a certain way we dress / look / cook etc. thanks to that identity. One of the traits that resonates with me is that we adapt when we move. When we moved from Iran to India we embraced the new cultural values and became all the better for it. When my parents moved from India to Australia, we did the same. We weren’t tied to a certain time or place – we were embracing of change (to an extent).

Strangely, I feel like that openness to change is what’s currently coursing through my veins. That sense of shifting through the world and gaining a richer set of cultural values that I can layer upon my core identity is what I’m currently enjoying. For example, it might be that I fall in love with the Danish concept of hygge and realise that hey, I really like that sense of homeliness, or appreciate the British ‘stiff upper lip’ and realise that hey, I really like that stalwartness.

Me being Parsi with my buddies.

On being Australian – contrasted with a couple thousands-year-old cultural identity, I was brought up in Australia which has a national identity a bit over 200 years old. (Leaving aside Aboriginal culture which I don’t feel I have a strong connection to.) It’s an interesting exercise trying to reconcile both these influences, but they fit together quite nicely.

Australia is a beacon for diversity, made beautiful thanks to its rich multiculturalism. Not too dissimilar to Parsis, the exposure to different cultures has allowed Aussies to layer one culture upon another to form a dynamic whole. Nonetheless, Australia is still a very young nation trying to come to terms with its identity. I think that’s a good reason a lot of Aussies travel, to get a dose of more culture, or as we like to pronounce it “cultcha”. In the absence of a mature national identity, we’ve opted to expose ourselves to others to enrich our own.

Again, I feel like it’s these values that are sitting with me here today. I feel like moving to London embodies that spirit of planting yourself in a foreign land and soaking up different cultures. In turn, these cultural experiences will be layered upon my identity, making me a richer person. For example, when it comes to social interactions, I might become more attuned to the German approach of directness versus the British approach of indirectness, both of which I can learn to employ in different situations.

Me being Australian with my buddy.

As an aside, there’s a multitude of other influencers which I could describe (family, friends, high school), but I’ve pulled out these two because I feel they have a tangible link to why I’m currently in London. And I’ve become much more aware of just how deep these two connections are by being in a foreign environment.

As an example, at my work Christmas party I happened to hear a bloke with an Aussie accent – I literally lost my shit! Compared to the difficulty of trying to strike up a stimulating conversation all night, it felt like we formed a connection in an instant. The conversation flowed, he picked up the jokes where I left them off, the nuances weren’t missed, we had banter… we were on the same wavelength and I think it was due to our shared identity. 

The same thing happens when I meet a Parsi here, the connection is strong because we’re aware of our shared identity. No need to faf about explaining our culture and religion (I have the spiel down pat), but instead we can connect more deeply over our shared experiences and values. (Note: this is not always the case with meeting Aussies and Parsis, but there’s certainly a greater likelihood for connection.)

In summary, I’ve found that being Parsi and being Australian have played a significant role in making me who I am today and placing me where I am today. They form my core identity. The exciting part is that my identity is by no means static. It forms the core, but it’s the layering of life experiences that really enriches me.

Playing pinball

I have this image in my head which I think paints an image of all this quite well, and that image is pinball. Ok ok I know it sounds strange, but stick with me on this one, I promise I have a point to make!

Let’s look at the key elements of a pinball table:

• Launcher – these are the unique set of circumstances that make you who you are. It’s the launchpad to your life, your formative years. It’s your core identity (mine described above) that forms the pinball which, for this thought experiment, is you. That’s right, you are a pinball – get into the mind of a pinball, feel what a pinball feels :-P Let’s say its years 0-18 in your life.
• Freefall – this is where the pinball (you) is let loose on the world and allowed to do whatever it is you like. You have greater agency over your life – it’s freefall baby! Which typically results in bumping into a lot of shit, shit which you learn from. Let’s say its years 18-25 in your life.
  
  Bumping off shit doesn’t sound like fun, but it’s what makes you grow. When you bump into stuff it means you build layer upon layer of life experiences. The pinball becomes enriched.
• Flippers – these are the control sticks to your life. People have two broad tactics when it comes to using the flippers, either:
• A) You like to thrash the shit out of them to see how far you can hit the pinball. This results in the pinball (you) venturing into new and foreign areas of the table. Let’s call this the “discovery zone”. OR
• B) You like to play a conservative game and tactically use them to hit certain targets. This results in the pinball (you) taking a well-trodden path for predictable gains. Let’s call this the “safe zone”.
  
  Both tactics are completely sound. They aren’t mutually-exclusive and you can use either whenever it suits.
• Earning points – the aim of the game (i.e. your life) is to earn points. You can do this using either of the above approaches and playing in either the “discovery” or “safe” zones.
  
  Now what approach do you think I’m taking and what zone am I currently playing in? You guessed it, I’m taking the ‘thrash the shit out of the flippers’ approach and trying to discover new things.
  
  The discovery zone is cool because I’m learning a whole lot of new stuff and adding to my layers. Suddenly, I’m more confident at playing the game. I feel like I’m earning plenty of points which is another sign it’s working out for me right now. >>> How about moving half-way around the world and setting up a new life? Sure, I’ve done that before and could do it again.
  
  In addition, the more I play the more advanced I become at using the flippers. I might decide to be more tactical in my shots or even revert to a safe zone. >>> How about moving half-way around the world and setting up a new life in the next 6 months? Not now thanks, maybe later.
  
  I think it’s easy to discount the “safe zone” as the boring part of life that should be avoided, but I feel that's too simplistic. 2016 was very much a safe year for me – I had a comfortable job, rode a cycle, ate healthy food and walked around Newtown. It was a nice year. Come 2017, I felt like I needed to shake things up a bit and that’s when the plan to move overseas was set in place. Also a nice year. The zone you play in is completely relative to you and your circumstances.
  
  And that’s the story of life my friends. You’re a ball that gets thrown onto a table and you have a couple of controllers to steer your way through. Hopefully you have fun and earn points along the way :-)

• Ending the game – no one wants to play pinball forever because it is boring. The way I see the game is that once you’ve had your fun, you want to find a place to settle, a place that is comfortable, a place to call home. I think this is the gully. You don’t really see the need to earn points so you just chill in this pocket.
  
  I have to say I’m unsure of what this pocket looks like for me at this stage… But what I am certain of is that my identity (the pinball) combined with my life experiences (layering) will surely guide me in the right direction. And that's all I need to know right now.

I hope you enjoyed getting into the mindset of a pinball! Perhaps it will be food for thought on how you’re living your life and playing the game. If there’s one message you takeaway from this post, I’d like it to be that you have flippers and can steer your life in whatever direction it is you desire. Keen to hear what you think in the comments :-)

Finally, London is cold! I hibernated for the most of January and am now looking to plan some trips in the warmer months. Will whack a post up in a month's time :-)